Finding Our Way

Together While Apart

BEREAVEMENT CHALLENGES INVENTORY

There are some common challenges that mourners frequently experience. Help us to identify your grief landscape by completing the survey below. On a scale of 1 (note at all) to 5 (a great deal), rate how strong you feel about the challenge.

1. I believe that my life will never be as meaningful again.

2. I believe that my life will never be as happy or enjoyable again.

3. This death hurt me and I don’t want to be hurt like this again.

4. I worry about getting close to someone only to lose him/her again.

5. It is hard to trust people since the death.

6. I believe that it’s too late for me to try new things or develop new relationships.

7. I am afraid of the unknown.

8. I don’t like to have to change the way I do things.

9. I believe that I’m too old to start over or start a new life.

10. I’m so emotional that people don’t want to spend time with me.

11. I depress people who spend time with me.

12. I’m so angry about the death that it is unpleasant for others to be around me.

13. I have trouble feeling close to people since the death.

14. None of the new people I meet are as good as the one who died.

15. Other people don’t understand what I’m going through.

16. The pain of missing [the deceased] is all that I have left of the relationship and I’d rather be miserable than give that up.

17. I’m not ready to let him/her go.

18. I still need him/her.

19. A part of me feels like s/he is not really gone.

20. I’ll never have a relationship as meaningful again, so socializing with others is not worth the effort.

21. No one will ever love, value or understand me as much as [the deceased].

22. I’m too busy caring for my family and running the household by myself to engage in new activities or focus on my own needs.

23. I worry that I will forget the person I lost, especially if I get too busy with other things.

24. Engaging in new tasks or starting new relationships feels like a betrayal to [the deceased].

25. I worry about what others (e.g., friends and family of the person I lost) would think of me if I started to make new friends.

26. Pursuing new activities or relationships would be selfish.

27. Trying to force myself to move beyond grief would be a sign of weakness.

28. I feel guilty about things I did or didn’t do related to the loss.

29. I’m uncomfortable around others who try to console me or who pity me.

30. I’m uncomfortable around others because they want to talk about the person I lost.

31. I’m uncomfortable around others because they don’t want to talk about [the deceased].

32. I think others look down on me because I’m grieving.

33. Since my loved one died, I feel angry at God.

34. I feel guilty about moving on with my life.